Monday, July 30, 2012

Same ol' same ol'.

Lately I have been a daisy downer  becuase i am tired of routine.  The odd thing about it is that I love routine.  I like to wash the dishes before i go to bed so that when i wake up int he morning the house is clean.  I like to clean up cedars toys with her every night before she goes to bed.  I dont like to use a towel twice in a row. (bad habit i know.)  I always watch one waltons episode every day before i get in the shower.  I always brush my teeth after i get out of the shower.   All of these things and sooo many more are needs in my life to stay sane.  However, the past few weeks I have been really struggling with feeling like my routine is just to regular.  I am tired of being home all day every day cleaning and taking care of my baby.  These things are joys becuase it makes me take pride in my home and i love every second of being with my baby, but come on.  How much of this can a person take?  All of scott and my friends work.  All of my girl friends have good jobs and are making pretty good money.  BUT. none of them have kids.  I am just feeling a little behind in the world of employment.  Im feeling in a rut becuase i am not helping with the income, and i am missing the social aspects of having a job.  There was a time around new years of this year that i did get a job and scotty and I worked around eachothers schedules to watch cedar ect.  However, it ended up not working out becuase cedar was VERY stressed, and my milk supply went way low and i ended up not being able to breast feed. (For many reasons, i wont get into that.)  I am also 4 1/2 mos. pregnant and i will also add that scotty told me that i does not want me to work, that he wants me to rest at home during this pregnancy and care for Cedar.  I am just going crazy!!!!!!!! I have been doing crafts, and I am even going to sell some of my headbands at a local consignment store.  But is this enough????? anyway.  My rants are over. im just feeling bluh. 
    On an even more depressing note, Our dog molly has been missing since 10:00 this morning and it is now 10:00 at night.  Weve been progressivly getting more and more worried.  I love that dumb dog and i dont want anything to happen to her.  UGH.  keep her in your prayers!!

2 comments:

  1. Every mama feels this way from time to time Darl! You need your license so that when scott is home you can run out and have some Leah time for an hour. It really helps to clear your head and whatnot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah yes, Abby is right on all accounts! Also, I have heard my Mama friends who work outside the home lament over the same thing. Fact is, it sounds like you need a change- and that you need to actively seek out some Mama friends, who have babies and children like you.
    I surely hope you guys find Molly !

    ReplyDelete